Not A Mary-Sue
by Shini Megami4
Summary: A girl and her friends (And two a**holes) go off into Middle-Earth and save the day!!!
1. Chapter I

Chapter I, A Boring Monday Meela's Point of View              

"Denn die Todten raiten schnell."

For the dead travel fast. It was another boring Monday, the last day of STAR testing. I looked up from my notebook to see my best friend Tara reading a book on Folklore. She and I had skipped tennis because she had forgotten her shorts, and I had 'forgotten' my tennis racket.  As I said, it was a TERRIBLY boring day.

Tara slightly raised her eyebrows and looked a bit surprised. It was the look she gave anything she either didn't get, or didn't want to get. I guessed that it was the second one this time. As I repeated the line from Lenore once again, she looked up.

"Huh?" she said, brushing her short, purple hair back from her face.

"Denn die Todten raiten schnell." I repeated. " ' For the dead travel fast.'"

"Oookay." Tara said, giving me that look again, and going back to her book.

Sighing of boredom, I stood up and began searching through the library for something interesting. Nothing seemed worth reading The Giver…. Read it in English and didn't get it…The Hobbit… I bet only Elijah Wood could read it…

As I went deeper into the library, I found a candle, lighted it (Thank God I had tried to light Eric on fire that day!), and continued deeper and deeper. Slowly, I ran my fingers over the books until I found an extremely old volume on the table. It was too dusty to read the title, so I ran my fingers over the print. L…o….r…

"What are you doing here?" 

Quickly, I looked up to see a tall, brown haired boy, a bit taller than me, glaring at me. He was Steve, from my PE class. He was a creepy dude who hung out at the library with his best friend, Stu, a major track freak. Both were new here at the school, so I tried to be as polite as possible. (For me that is.)

"Wouldn't you like to know." I said, slowly backing away. I ran through the book cases as the two boys angrily raced after me. The librarian was gonna kill me after this. Grabbing my backpack, I  threw the book at Tara, who ran over to Christina, grabbed a red slip, slapped it inside of the book, and the two of us raced out, with the two boys on our tale.

This was the fun thing; Pissing off people. We quickly ran into the D-wing bathroom and collapsed, laughing. Our day of pissing people off was done. 

"Man." I said, sighing through my tears. " That was better than trying to set Eric on fire!"

"You did WHAT?" a figure said, standing over us. 

(Author's note: Oooooooooo…. Mysterious! Ha, ha, ha, j/k peeples! I hope you keep reading! Did anyone see Queen of the Damned? Well, I plan to use some of Mrs. Rice's information on vampires in here later on, so look forward to that!)


	2. Chapter II

Borrowing For an Extended Period of Time Maya's Point of View 

I looked down at those two, Mei and Tara. (Mei is Meela's nickname.)  The incorruptible, evil duo. Tara was all in her 'hyper mode', while Mei was…. Being normal. Slowly. Mei stood up and started checking her hair, which was up in reddish brown buns. (If you can't stick it up, clip it!) After about 5 minutes of adjusting, she helped up a weary looking Tara and grinned.

"What did you do now?" I said, frowning. "Did you set Eric on fire again? Cause if you did…"

"No." Tara said, sighing. 

"Anything to do with explosives, weapons?" I said, putting my hands on my hips.

"No." Mei said, sighing. "My sticks are in my backpack, though."

"Did you mutate Hampton the Hamster?" I said, wrinkling my nose. 

"No." Tara and Mei said in a chorus.

"Well." I said, a bit stunned and surprised. "That wasn't a normal day for you, was it?"

"We stole a book." Tara said, taking an extremely old looking book out.

"Tara." Mei said, grabbing the book from Tara and shoving it at me. "It's not called stealing; it's called borrowing for an extended period of time. So whaddya think?"

"I think the librarian's gonna kill you." I said, wiping the dust from the book. 

"What's it say?" Tara said. 

"The…. Lord…. of…the…. Rings." I said, reading the title. "Wow! It's Tolkien!"

"Probably FIRST EDITION!" Mei shouted. "We could make a KILLING selling it!"

"Maybe…" I said, sighing and giving it to Tara. "Forget it. Let's go get some ice cream and think it over."

Slowly, Tara and I grabbed our bikes, while Mei grabbed her skates, and we slowly biked and skated over to the Ice Cream parlor on the boulevard. As we biked and skated over, we talked gossip, from the fact that Lee got suspended for beating these two girls with a badminton racket, to the fact that LotR wasn't real.

We walked into the ice cream parlor, Tara and I parking our bikes and Mei just going in with her skates. (The people who worked there didn't mind that much.) Suddenly, we were jumped by those two boys Stu and Steve. Stu tried to grab at the book, but received a blow to the head by Mei. Soon, it was an all-out waging war between the boys and us. All over some stupid book. As Kate came running over, a bright light encased us and I was knocked unconscious. 

(Author's note: I'm sorry that it's so short, but I'm too lazy to write more, so… wait until the next chapter. I'll try to lengthen it.)


	3. Chapter III

Chapter III, The Magic Changes the Strangers Stu's Point of View 

I think I was the first to gain conciousness, only to find some Spock-wannabe standing over me with a bow. Naturally, I yelled out in alarm, and awoke Steve, Mei, Maia, and Tara. Mei sat up, and looked over at them with ease. Everyone except for her and Tara had the shit scared out of them.

"WOW!" Tara said, looking at the Spock-wannabes. 

"So what else is interesting?" I said, sighing. "Aside from the fact we've…. Where are we, anyway?"

"You're in Rivendell, strangers." One of the Spock-wannabes said, lowering his bow.

"Rivendell!" Steve said. "Th….this is IMPOSSIBLE!"

"Why?" Mei asked, standing up. 

"Rivendell's from Lord of the Rings!" Steve shouted.

"What?" Mei said, looking confused. "So we got sucked into the book or something?"

"Wow!" Maia said, looking interested. "This is so much like _Lord of the Rings_!"

"Took you long enough, Sherlock." I said sarcastically. Mei shot me a sharp look. I grinned. She wasn't the only one who enjoyed pissing off people.

"Ok." 

One of the Spock freaks helped us up. He looked incredibly familiar, and something about me reminded me of Black Hawk Down.

"Oh my god!" Mei screeched. "It's Orlando Bloom!"

 "What?" I said, cocking my head. "The guy who played Legolas in _Lord of the Rings_." Mei said, shaking Mr. Spock Freak's hand.

"I…I know that my name is Legolas Greenleaf," Mr. Spock Freak said, sighing. "But I know nothing of this 'Orlando Bloom' fellow."

"Oh great." Tar said, sighing. "What next?"

"Who may you be?" Mr. Spock Freak, whom I will now call Legolas, said.

"I am Tara." Tara said, frowning. "I'm a me."

"I'm Stu." I said.

"I'm Steve." Steve said.

"I'm Maia." Maia said.

Something happened, though. Mei fell down, and then rose again, strangely, as Maia cried out that Mei would break her back or something.  Finally, Mei smiled and something new grew in. Fangs! Slowly, Mei turned from a bit chubby to very thin, from dark skinned to practically white, and eyes started to change colors. Something happened to Tara, though. Tara grew two little dog ears!

"Hello." Mei said in a newly adapted French accent. "I am the Vampire Lestat. I have hidden away in the shadows. It's time I shared myself with the world."

"Mei…" Tara said, gently tapping her friend on the shoulder. "What are you talking about?"

"What?" Mei said, shaking her head. "What the hell happened to you, Stu?"

"What?" I said, sarcastically. "Did I grow ears like dog girl here?"

"No." Maia said, handing me a mirror. "Look."

I gasped and saw I was as pale as death, and very thin. It was kind of freaky. All of the Spock-wannabes.... er… elves…. Took a step back. 

"What type of sorcery is this?" Legolas said, looking confused and a bit overwhelmed. "You've all changed! I must take you to Gandalf to see what's going on!"


	4. Chapter IV

We Can't Go Home? 

Mei's POV

AGH!! This was so bad! VEEEEEEEEEEEERRY BAD!!!!! Where was Mr. Spock Freak (Note: Mei and Stu didn't watch LotR or read the book. Instead Mei read Anne Rice books and Stu… well, he just did stuff. Thaz why they both don't know squat.) taking us?! And where the hell were we? This was getting totally confusing. So, doing what I usually do, I took out a bottle of soda and started to drink away my fears and get high.

Tara's POV 

"MEI!" I said angrily. "What the hell do you think you're doing?! This isn't the time for this!"

 "Don't even bother." Maia said, sighing. "Look."

To my embarrassment, I saw my friend singing the Gumdrop song, and slowly wobbling around. Sighing, I took out one of her sticks from her backpack and hit her on the head. I sighed as she kept talking nonsense.

Stu's POV 

"Whom are you strangers?" A tall old dude said, walking over. Four midgets, the Legolas dude, a REALLY short bearded dude, and some guy accompanied him.

"Oooh!" Mei said, giggling. "It's the circus!"

"No, Mei." Tara said, sighing. "It's the fellowship."

"No!" Mei said, giggling. "See? A bunch of midgets, a guy who looks likes Spock, the oldest dude in the world, and a guy. And the shortest bearded lady ever! Hee hee hee!"

"Whom are these beings, Gandalf?" The short guy with the beard said, not looking happy to be called a short bearded lady.

"Are you ready to rock?" Mei cried out suddenly.

"What?" The normal guy said. 

"I can't hear you!" Mei continued. 

"Oh no." Tara said, sighing. "She's gone into the dysfunctional stage."

"You got a girl

You got a guy

Sittin' underneath a tree

The sit there everyday

And even though

You may think

That this is the best way to be

It may not always be that way

You can't take nothing for granted

You gotta live like today

I turn around

And I can see what's behind me

I turn back around

And I can see what's…"

Suddenly, to everyone's relief, Tara hit Mei on the head, making her come out of her own little world and into ours.

"What the fuck?" She said, rubbing her head. "Where the hell are we?"  
 "You're in Middle-Earth, stranger." Elf boy said, sighing.

"Oooooooooh." Mei said, finally clarifying that she got the picture for once in her life.

"Now." The old-dude-everyone-called-Gandalf said. "We must find out how you got here."

"We were sucked into the book." Mei said, standing up and showing him the book.

"What?" One of the midgets said. (One that looked incredibly like Elijah Wood.)

"We were sucked into the goddam book!" Mei shouted. Now she was totally pissed. "Are you daft?!"

" Mei…" Tara said, sighing. "Gandalf, we're all very tired, so can we rest. This is all so confusing for us."

The old guy nodded and the Head Elf dude said something in another language, and we were led to rooms.

Mei's POV 

"WHAT?!" Tara shrieked. "I'm NOT sharing rooms with Maia!"

"Why?!" I said, looking confused. 

"She's gonna kill me with boredom or something!" Tara ranted.

"Well, at least you're not stuck with guys." I said, sighing. "I bet they snore."

"Good point." Tara said, smiling. "I feel so sorry for you."

"I'm going out to explore a bit." I said, smiling, taking the Tolkien book with me.

Tara nodded and I exited her chamber. It was so strange, being in a different place, where smoke only came from timid furnaces, and the skies were a beautiful sapphire color, and there were huge forests. It was so beautiful. As I walked down through the library, I sighted an elf. Either that or it was one unearthly looking woman. Shehad raven black hair and was accompanied by a golden haired elf.

"Greetings." The black haired one said, smiling. "My name is Arwen. I am Lord Elrond's daughter. And this is Vanya. Are you looking for something?"

"Uh…" I said, sighing. "Not in particular."

After a while, Vanya, or whatever her name was, came over to where I was sitting. She looked a bit coldish, sort of like when Guru Clef first met the Magic Knights.

"I know what you think, little one." She said, quietly. "But you cannot go home."

"What?!" I said.


	5. Chapter V

What Can We Do?

Mei's POV 

"I know what you think, little one. But you cannot go home."

The words echoed in my head. Why? Why couldn't we go home?

"She said that?" 

Tara said, looking a bit biased for some reason. Either that or it was me. (It was me.)

"So," she said, sighing. "Shall you tell the boys?"

"YOU?" I shouted. "I'M NOT TELLING THEM!"

"Ooooooooooh Maaaaia…….." Tara said, looking sly. I smiled and we planned. 

We walked over to the library, all 5 of us, slowly, conversing and arguing. Everyone assured her a lot but Mei was really paranoid. What did that elf mean by "I know what you think, little one. But you cannot go home."? Everything was so confusing.

The doors of the huge library swung open, as if they knew we were coming.

"I know." The elf said, looking up from the book. "You come with questions."  
 "Uh…" I said, looking surprised. Was she some kind of psychic?

"Yes." Tara said, with more vitality than I had.

"I summoned you five here to save our world." The elf said, closing the book slowly. "Help save Middle-Earth. Please."

Tara's POV

"WHAT?!" everyone shouted. 

"WE have to save Middle-Earth?" I shouted. It was a totally unexpected twist. "But we don't have any special powers!"

"Yes." Legolas said, stepping out from the shadows with the rest of the Fellowship. " Or actually, you DID have powers. Lady Tara was the Goddess of Ice in her last carnation, just as Sir Stuart was a psychic, Lady Maia was a princess, and Sir Steven was a fire spirit."  
"But who or what was Mei?" Stu asked, looking terribly confused.

"She was an Original." Arwen said. "She is the one summoned to destroy the evil. Sir Stuart will aid her in that quest. Lady Tara was summoned to stop his furious armies. Lady Maia was summoned to show the way to the ancient temple. Sir Steven was summoned to release the ancient one."

"So…." Maia said, looking a bit confused. "Who's this evil person?"

"He…." Gandalf said, looking a bit uncomfortable. "I cannot tell you yet. Lady Tara," he said to me. "May I speak to you and the other men for a moment?"

"Sure." Stu said, walking over. Maia and Mei talked as we conversed with the ancient wizard.  "Whaddya wanna tell us?"

"The evil…" Gandalf said, sighing. "Is Maia's beloved."  
 "Who does Maia love?" Steve said, suddenly. " Her family?"

"No." I said, looking happy. "Derek." (AKA ERIC!!!!)

I laughed. Finally, we could be rid of that wretched thing!!!!

"You will split up into three groups." Elrond said. "Master Gimli and Legolas will go with Lady Tara and Lady Arwen. Gandalf the Gray, Lady Vanya, Master Merry, and Master Pippin will go with Lady Maia and Sir Steven. Frodo, Lord Aragorn, and Sam will accompany Lady Meela and Master Stuart."

"IT'S STU!!!" Stu shouted. No one listened. "STU!!!!!!!!"

" Whoa, whoa." Mei said. "Hold on a sec."

"What?" Lord Elrond said. "Does this grouping displease you?"

"Yeah." She said. "Remember the three rules."

"Three…. Rules?" Elrond said, looking confused. (Lots of peeps get confused in this chappy, ni?) 

"Never eat at a place called Ma's," Mei said, listing off them. "Never play cards with a dude called Doc, and whatever else you MAY do, you never ever travel with someone you don't know."

There was an awkward silence, and Mei just backed down with a whatever. 

"Just…" Mei said, sighing. "Screw this. Never mind. So what can we do?"

"You will go to find the Ancient Council." Elrond said. "To Cloud City."

"Cloud City?" Everyone said.

"There is only brief mention of the ancient city." Elrond continued. "It is an ancient city where the ancient weapons of you guardians lay. The Ancient Council will show you where the weapons are. You two must retrieve them. Lady Tara will go look for reinforcements in ancient regions, and Lady Maia and Master Steven will go to find the ancient shrine."

  "Let's do it." I said. "What's the worst that could happen?"


	6. Chapter VI

Greased Lightning 

"Mr. Hobbit dude." Mei asked, cocking her head.

"Yes, young miss?" The hairy-footed dude who looked a lot like Elijah Wood said.

"How are we gonna get to Cloud City," she said. "Or wherever we're going? I mean, we're not walking all the way, are we? I just got these shoes a week ago, so they're nice and new."

"Horseback." The normal dude said, saddling a horse. Mei took a look at the horse and smiled.

 "Why this car is automatic," Mei said, grinning.  
"Mei." I said, sighing. "It's a…"

 "It's systematic! Mei said, giggling.  
 It's hydromatic!  
"Why it's grease lightning!"  
   
 "We'll get some overhead lifters and some four barrel quads," Mei said, poking at me.  
 "oh yeah,  
A fuel injection cutoff and chrome plated rods oh yeah  
With a four speed on the floor they'll be waiting at the door  
You know that ain't no shit we'll be getting lots of tit  
In Grease Lightning  
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go"

"What's this song this girl is singing, master Stuart?" The normal guy said, looking a bit frightened. 

"Two words." I said, trying to get the girl to calm down. "John Travolta. What HAS this chick been smokin'?"

"Is that a ballad or something?" The short guy who looked like Elijah Wood said, looking confused.  
"Where am I?" I said, sighing. "The Stone Age or something?"  
 "Go grease lightning you're burning up the quarter mile," Mei continued, scaring everyone.  
 "Go grease lightning you're coasting through the heat lap trial  
You are supreme the chicks'll cream for grease lightning  
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go  
  
Purple french tail lights and thirty inch fins  
oh yeah  
A Palomino dashboard and duel muffler twins  
oh yeah  
With new pistons, plugs, and shocks I can get off my rocks  
You know that I ain't bragging she's a real pussy wagon  
Grease lightning," I sighed as that stupid ass kept dancing. (And I don't mean me.)  
  
 "Go grease lightning you're burning up the quarter mile  
Go grease lighting you're coasting through the heat lap trial  
You are supreme the chicks'll cream for grease lightning  
Go grease lightning you're burning up the quarter mile  
Go grease lighting you're coasting through the hit lap trial  
You are supreme the chicks'll cream for grease lightning  
Lightning, lightning, lightning  
Lightning, lightning, lightning  
Lightning…."

Suddenly, Mei cried out. Everyone looked up fearfully, to see her say, "Now I'm hungry." If I had been an anime character, I'd have a BIG sweatdrop. Taking a look in my pocket, I pulled out a small packet of Mentos, and threw her one. She gulped it down, and said, "Mentos: Fresh For Life!"

"God," I said, sighing and sitting down. "What IS it you smoke?"

"I don' smoke nothin." Mei said. "I drink coke. LOTS of coke. I have a magical bottle of coke that never empties. That's so cool. Bought it for 12 bucks."

"No wonder." I said, sighing. "What else's in that big ol' bag of yours?"

"Lets see." She said, digging into her bag. "My weaponry sticks, my coke bottle, art book, diary, pencil box, homework, money, candy, stuff."

"Freak." 

"Who died and made you president?"

"Me."

crack crack "What are you saying?"

"Bitch."

"Pimp."

"Ho."

"Necro."

"Jackass."

"Fuckass."

"Asshole."

"Eric."

"What?"

"You're such an Eric." (Eric is the WORST insult you can get.)

"WHAT?! Why you…"

Bang! Crash! Boom!


End file.
